revenge
by riclynshea
Summary: Its been over 90 years sence Laurent bit Bella in the meadow, each day growing more and more angry. When the Cullens suddently return to Forks, She gives herself over to the monster inside her. Plotting her revenge.
1. back in town

**Writer's note: **I read a short story like this a long time ago, and i wanted to use the same kinda idea. So, I cant take full credit. Sorry for any typos. I dont have any editing stuff, SOO.. until I find a beta, just bear with me guys lol. Im not the best writer lol.

this takes place in right after Laurent found her in the meadow.

REVIEW please :

New Moon:

" I'll be very quick. You won't feel a thing, I promise. Oh, I'll lie to Victoria about that later, naturally, just to placate her. But if you knew what she had planned for you, Bella..." He shook his head with slow movement, almost as if disgusted. "I swear you'd be thanking me for this."

I stared at him in horror.

He sniffed at the breeze that blew threads of my hair in his direction. "Mouthwatering," he repeated, inhaling deeply.

I tensed for the sping, my eyes squinting as i cringed away, and the sound of Edwards furious roar echoed distantly in the back of my head. His name burst through all the walls I'd built to contain it. _Edward, Edward, Edward_. I was going to die. It shouldn't matter if I thought of him now. _Edward, I love you._

Chapter 1

As his cold marble lips crashed against my skin, I felt a strange spasm jult through my body, not fear or pain, But releaf. The venom stung as I closed my eyes and drifted into unconsciouness. I felt as if I was underwater, not totally uncohearent But still able to dream of my _him_. I hear a sharp growl.

"I don't believe it" He whispered.

My eyes fluttered open as the pain grabed and pulled me back to reality from my precious dream. The fire was spreading. I tried to focus on Laurent, what was he doing? I should be dead. As terror and confusion swept through me, I bit my lip, trying to hold back a scream. Laurnet was gone. The fire was crippling my body...

Time had no meaning here, as i drifted back and forth.Even through my painful haze, I knew what was going on. Laurent didn't finish the job, The liquid fire running through my veins would soon make me immortal. I Cringed, I didnt know if it was at the thought of living an eternity of being unwanted by Edward or the pain of my skin burning.

What felt like weeks where passing, I couldn't sleep anymore. I was awear of everything around me, But more awear of the pain. I noticed something big out of my peripherals. It looked to big to be a wolf... but my eye sight was blurry. With the sudden realization, I shut my eyes and preyed it wouldn't noticed me. I focused on making my breathing steady, to calm myself down...

_Inheal..._

_Exheal..._

_Inheal..._

_Exheal..._

_just keep breathing..._

I didn't notice if the creature was still around or not. My skin was cold, and the fire was dulling. I listened to my heartbeats, knowing that they where numbered. My heart fluttered a few times, then stopped all together. The fire was gone, Replaced by a burning in my throat. I wanted to cry, knowing that it would be useless. I couldn't cry anymore. I opened my eyes, seeing things brighter. I was so awear of everything around me. There was so much to take in.

I needed to get away from Forks. I couldnt bear the thought of killing someone, someone like Charlie... Another emotion hit me as I realized I would never see him again. Anger Filled me as I though of what was taken away from me. This is NOT what I wanted, not now! Maybe at one time, but not now! How did I exscape death twice? What made Laurent Run! Why didn't the creature finish me off? All I knew was, one, I needed to stay away from any human. Two, I needed to perfect my diet into being a 'vegitarian'. I was running through the woods now, not knowing where i was headed. Leaving humanity far behind me.

**90 years later.**

I went by the Name Isabelle Masen Now, After living in the Woods for eighty odd years, I came across a nomad named Tristen, He became Infatuated with my lifestyle. Soon giving up hunting humans all together. We Have stuck together for almost ten years now. After a While Of living Barbearic, He Insisted We buy a house and try to live like the clans he had heard of. I didn't mention to him I knew one of the clans he talked of. I Gritted my teeth and tryed not to flinch when he said the Cullens name.

There was a reason I lived in the woods, and not in a home already. It was a simple matter, money. When I told him that, he laughed and told me he had came from old money and has taken care of it over the years. Soon, We where living in a small home right outside of Forks. Most of the people I knew here where already dead, but just incase Anyone ever noticed the similarities between me and the missing teenage girl, I had a Cover story. Of course, I was a distant cousin of Bella Swan. I went and visited Charlies grave often, growing more angry each time. By some mericle is was still standing in an old grave yard. Tristen soon noticed, and I finally confessed my Rocky past to him.

Tristen was older looking than I was,but also older in a literal sence. The public story Was that we where roommates, close friends. That was not far from the truth, We where infact, roommates and close friends. He had a job at the local Hospital, He and Carlise reminded me alot of each other... I had a local Job at a book store,to fill my free time durring the day. At night I mostly worked on controling my 'gift', Perfecting my shield and my invisibility. I tried to keep myself occupied, not letting myself dwell on all the anger and rage inside of me.

I was Closing up the book store, letting my mind wonder about Renee and how she spent her last years. I still grieved for my mom and Charlie, Angry that my time with them was cut short. I went to the door to lock up, funny how not much has changed over the years, other than the fashion and new fancy cars, everything was still the same. Looking out the window I noticed a Blonde beauty walking hand in hand with a stocky dark hair man.

_it couldn't be..._

A low growl ripped from my chest.

_Rosalie, Emmet..._

My thoughts automaticly flickered to Edward, they couldn't be back in my town, could they?! That would be my luck that he ruin my life by not wanting to be with me, and go and ruin my Immortal life too, by showing up in MY town! Anger rushed through my dry veins, I saw nothing but red. I stormed out the back door, and jumped into my car. I speed through the streets of forks, in a angry haze until I reached my house.

I walked into the house and slammed the door

"Iz?" Tristen took one look at my face, "What is wrong?" He demanded.

"The cullens." I hissed, pain tearing through my torso.

His back stiffened. "oh..." He knew everything I went through, he Also knew the rage that had been building inside. "Isabelle. You cant do anything rash."

"Im here arn't I! Do you see me doing anything rash?" I was outraged he would even say something like that.

Emmet and Rosealie sometimes lived as a married couple I recalled Edward saying, a dim human memory. I have to know if _he_ is here...

"I'll be back later," I said turning for the door.

"Where are you going? Promise me, nothing crazy." He forhead creased with worry lines.

I sighed.

"I just need to know... if..." I let out another sigh, "-If _he_ is here." I gave him an assureing look."I ment what I said about being right back, I promise. No one will be seeing me tonight" I gave him a faint smile. I would be keeping myself invisible tonight...

He gave me a nod, and soon I was running through the woods headed for a house I never wanted to go back to...


	2. pain

Chapter 2

I Let my self turn Invisable. Keeping myself safe. I figued this was how I saved myself from the creatures in the woods, long ago. I knew I would also get a better look at the house if I kept myself invisable. I Sucked in a deep breath before the house came into view. Emotions I fogot even exsisted coursed through me, But the two I knew very well where the strongest. Sadness. Anger.

I was standing in the front yard now, no one could see me. yet, I felt exsposed. I always loved this house, I saw Esme in the window, straighten things up, so meternal. I faint smile appeared on my face, Ive missed Esme so much. Sadness reapeared on my face as I realized what I really missed, Someone meternal... like renee, My own mother. Headlights caught me offgaurd as the headed up the driveway. I guess I have my answer. I watched Rosealie and emmet get out of the car. I shot another glance up at Esme through the window.

I still need to know, I have to be sure, I have to see..._him._

I looked back at Rosealie as she turned to yell at the house.

"Hey, get down here, I got all the stuff you wanted." She said.She was still so beautiful...

Emmet poped the hood, they had tons of bags full of household items.

I felt a breeze beside me, as I realized Alice was now standing beside Rosealie.

"We have alot of work to do on the house, Esme is on a cleaning spree." Alice's lovely voice sang.

They started looking through the bags, talking amungst they're self. I wasn't paying attention, I continued to stare at the house. Rapped up in my own thoughts.

Jasper soon came out to join Rosealie, Emmet and Alice.

I felt suddently releaved that Alice hadn't 'seen' me coming. It's been so long, Im sure she is so out of tune with me, she wouldnt see anything.

A sound begain comming from the lovely home,The music was so beautiful... a paino.

Rosealie, Emmet, Alice, and Jasper heads shot up and looked at the house.

"Ah, I see Edward Finally found the paino..." Jasper Whispered.

"Its Nice to finally hear him play again," Alice whispered back.

The beautiful Music morfted into something I knew all to well, Something I tried to forget, but held onto for dear life... My lullaby. At that moment my heart that hasn't beat in over a hundred year broke into million peices.

At that moment Jaspers head wharrled around. I could tell he felt uneasy. He looked into the woods. I knew he must be testing the atmophere, I knew he was feeling what I was feeling, But he didn't know where it was coming from. The piano abruptly stoped playing and I heard a crunching sound. I looked back at Jasper, who was still looking around.

"What's wrong?" Alice asked, courious.

"I don't know..." He looked confused now. "I feel someone... else, but there is no one else here..."

"I don't 'see' anyone?" Alice said looking at Jasper.

"There is so many emotions... They're so close.. I.." He was consitraiting.

That was my que to leave, I didnt want to give Jasper a headache, I got what I came for, everyone _was_ here. I took one last fleeding look at the house, then another at the cullens standing no less than five feet from me, I started to walk to the edge of the woods when something made me stop dead in my tracks.

_Edward._

He was standing on the porch, looking At his brothers and sisters. My hands begain to shake... I kept my teeth clinched tight so They couldn't hear my tearless sobs. A rush Of dim human memories flooded my mind...

_"You...don't...want me?"_

_"No."_

I sank to my knees remebering our last conversation.

Jasper Sharp intake of breath, made me look up. He was also on his Knees, breathless.

"Jasper?!" Alices voice sounded stressed.

Edward was beside him in one moment. "What's wrong?!" He demanded.

His voice hit another nerve.

"There..is..so..much..." He tried to answer, But was grabbing his side gasping.

As I Graped my torso trying to stop the ripping...

I needed to get out of here, I had to. Jasper didn't need to feel this...

I stood up, trying to be brave. I started to run deep into the forest as I heard Jasper whisper,

"...**pain**."


	3. beloved father

Chapter 3

I don't know why I set myself up for pain, As soon as I saw Alice, Jasper, Esme and the others... I should haven known _He_ would be there too. I don't know why I waited to see his face... I should have ran in the other direction... In the end, It was only more heartache for me. His face was so much more beautiful than my fading Human memorys lead me to be believe. I hated him, I hated him for bringing me into this world when he didnt intend to keep me. He left me hurt and broken, I promised him I wouldn't do anything stupid... I still had charlie, Renee, and eventually Jacob to think about. But in the end, I still lost everything because of the world he brought upon me.

I didn't know where I was running until I ended up at the old cemetery. Everything here was either covered in vines or broken into peices. Charlie's head stone was still standing. I cleared all the old vines off, and have been bringing flowers here often... I missed Charlie so much, I knew he must have been a wreck when I disappeared. I would have given anything to go back, to talk to the girl that walked around like a zombie mopping over a vampire that would never love her, to tell her that he was all she had, to cherrish every day with him. My figurs traced the lines that read 'Charlie Swan', underneath was his date of birth, and date of death. There was no Beloved father discription, because his daughter was ripped away from him. There was no Beloved Husband discription because he never loved anyone else other than my mother.

Charlie died alone.

Anger ripped through my cold heart. I could not blame Laurent, He was long gone... Edward was the only one left to blame for this. He was the one to blame for bringing me into this mythical world, inflicting pain on my family.

He would pay.

For what he did to me.

For what he did to Charlie.

I walked into my house, knowing Tristen was already worried about me. He always looked after me, it was much more than I diserved. He stood by, year after year, watching me grow more and more angry and dark.

"If you want to talk im here." Was all he said on the subject, He knew me well enough to know when I wanted to be left alone.

I walked to my room in silence, Not responding.

My Mind was racing. never slowing down all through the night. I wondered if his distractions where worth it, Because he has it coming for him.

I wondered if they would be signing up for school again, my plan forming...

The next morning, I used my invisability to sneak past Tristen, I didnt want to worry him. I spent most of the morning hiding in my car in the parking lot of the school, Watching each student closely. There was no way I could have missed it, She was too graceful, _Alice._ She was walking into the school office. I turned invisible again, sneaking out of my car when no one was watching. I stayed far away as she left the office and danced back to a shiny black car. Edward was the first and only one out, I guess it was just Alice and Edward attending this time. Seniors or Jouniors? I pondered.

They talked for a couple seconds then went into different directions, I followed Edward eagerly. I soon realized he was playing a senior role.

The rage only grew more definant as I followed him around, plotting my plan for revenge.

I raced home, trying to work out the details in my head.

I was going back to school.

I was going to apear human.

I was going to mess with his head.

Then I was going to make him regret _everything_.


	4. here we go

**writer's note:** please please please review. lol

the next chapter will be really good, I promise !!

Chapter 4

Tristen watched me with careful eyes, always watching me from a distance. I didn't want it to be this way. I didn't want to leave him the way I left Charlie, IF this ended bad. I wondered if guilt was apparent on my features because, his stare became more intense. I tried not to meet his eyes while I walked past him.

"What do you have in the bag?" He asked curiously.

This was unlike him, He was never one to pry in my business. He must be really worried. I tured to meet his eyes, regreting it immidiantedly. His eyes reminded me of the way Charlie looked at me when I was in my catatonic state. I had to say _something_. I couldn't let myself leave another person without a final goodbye or at least a reason for doing so.

"Nothing important." That was an understantment, everything in this bag was very important.

"We have to talk..." The words didn't want to come out.

He gave me a nod and a quick hand gesture to start, sitting down on the sofa.

"I may be leaving soon." Those words seemed the easiest to start with...

"What do you mean?" suspicion colored his voice as his dark brows pulled together.

There wasn't an easy way to say this, "Edward has it coming, and the other Cullens may be with him. This may not end pretty..."

"Im with you." He said without he hesitating, standing up.

My mouth poped opened into O, letting the horror color my features. He would not indanger himself on my quest for revenge, I wouldn't allow it.

"No, you are not!" I said still in shock.

His expression crumbled as I realized what I said hurt him. Hurting him this way was better than letting him die on my behalf.

"I said this _may_ not end pretty, and I was only telling you this so you don't blame yourself in anyway. I don't want to hide this from you..." I took in a deep breath. "Just know, you made this life bearable for me, if it wasn't for you I would have left this life long ago. I love you." I tryed to smile.

His face fell ever more, his eyes searching mine. His tormented expression was enought to make my heart ache. For a second, I started to wonder why I was even doing this. How could I hurt him like this? Tristen, who reminded me so much of Carlise, Who at one time was going to be my adopted father...

The monster inside me Ached at the word _father._ Snapping me back into my rage filled revenge. Edward would pay, and any other that would stand in his way, _Even Carlise_.

I turned to go to my room, more planning needed to be done.

"I don't think I can just stand by and watch..." I heard Tristen whisper.

"well don't watch." I snapped before slamming the door.

I emptyed the bag on my bed, I had everything I needed; brown hair dye, brown contacts, baige foundation, blush, hand warmers, strawberry shampoo, freesia perfume. School started in just a few hours, and I already worked my dazzling technique on the office assistant. Edward and I had 1st hour Biology together. The hair dye Made my hair the same color as my human hair, I was pleased. After useing a little beige foundation, I applied alot of blush. It looked natural, I heard alot of good thing from the bare natural minerals info commercails. I became really irritated with the contacts, The color had no depth, and they messed with my eye sight. A small price to pay I guess. I laid the freesia perfume on thick, hopping it wouldn't fade.

Time passed by Quickly as I hoped it would.

I concentrated on breathing to calm myself down while walking out the door. Tristens eyes widened when he looked at me, his mouth fell open, as if he where going say something... but nothing came out.

"bye, I'll see you soon." was all I mumbled before shutting the door.

I waited about five minutes after the bell rang before walking to the office to get my slip. Making sure _he_ would be seated when I came into the class like the last time. The assistant wished me good luck and promised it would all go well. I must have looked nervous to her. I stopping at the door of the biology room, I have to get my nerves under control.

_inhale..._

_exhale..._

_inhale..._

_exhale..._

_This is for you Charlie._

**here we go.**


	5. mostly on my heart

**Writer's note:** please tell me what you think :D

Chapter 5

Hiding my Emotion under a serene mask, I opened the door, Trying my best to look innocent and embarrassed.

"Hello miss Swan." Mr. Darcie called, the biology teacher stood to greet me.

I heard a sharp intake of breath, I looked down and bit my lip trying not to be too melodramatic. My eyes wanted to wonder to the beautiful face sitting in the back of the room, But I ubruptly thought of the plan. I have to stay on track...

Mr. darcie Waved his hand, Gesturing me to come to the back of the room. This was working out perfectly. Keeping my eyes on the floor, I walking slowly to the back of the room. My eyes wanted to glare at his glorious face, My mouth wanted to curse him in every languege, But my heart ached for his touch. I was one table away from him now, letting the tip of my boot catch the leg of the table. I stumbled onto the desk in front of him, the girl sitting there laughed at me. I smiled weakly at her, hoping I put on enough blush. Looking back down at the floor, I prepared myself to see _his_ face. Now beside his table, I took in a deep breath.

My eyes lifted slightly, letting myself be comsumed by his stare. His eyes where tormented. His face held nothing but shock, but still just as beautiful. The monster inside me told to revenge this diseatful creature. However, My heart begged for me to run far away. I was in danger of letting myself want him again. I had to ignore it, I couldn't afford to lose it now, I had to much riding on this. I let my eyes appraise his beautiful features, It was like he stepped right out of my memory. Nothing had changed. He eyes looked at nothing but my face, His mouth hung open wide. I was pleased I had this effect over him, so he did acually care...

I shifted my hair over my should to make a long dark mahogany curtain between us. Through all my planning, I tried to remember little details like this to make the sence of deja vu stronger for him. Mr. Darcie Quickly signed my slip and told me to sit next to Mr. Cullen. As I turned to go back to my seat I noticed Edward was standing now, Facing me.

"Do we have a problem Mister Cullen?" Mr. Darcie asked curiously.

There was a long silence. He eyes never left mine, I tried my best to look confused.

"No... no problem." He mumbled.

"Well, take a set." He gestured to the chair beside edward before looking at me. "You too, Miss Swan."

"Yes sir." I Said quietly.

Edward's eyes nerrowed as I spoke. His face looked determinded now. I kept reminding myself over and over as I walked to the table.

_This is for Charlie. Don't screw it up._

Edward was facing my direction before I even set down. I picked up from under my lashes to look at his face. His eyes held something I wasn't planning on... _wonder_.

I gave his a faint smile before sitting down, moving my hair over my shoulder again.

"Hello." His voice cracked.

"Hi." I whispered, turning to look at him. "I'm Isabell Swan, and you?"

He hesitated for a moment,"Edward Cullen." He held out his hand to shake mine...

My smile was a little more alluring than necessary, I was just happy the hand warmers did the trick. I took his hand, making sure my hand was not to firm. His eyebrows lifted in amazment. I droped his hand immidiantly.

"Your hands.. There so cold." I whispered.

His eyes looked into mine for a long moment, and for a second I thought I was on the verg of losing it. His eyes where like liquid fire staring into the holes of my heart.

"sorry." he mummbled, He dropped his eyes and started to stare at my hands.

His hands reached to touch mine again, but hesitated and dropped his hands back into his lap.

"Thats a funny scar you have there on your hands." He pointed out.

"Yes, I have alot of scars." I replied.

"Really?" He seem intrigued.

"...Mostly on my heart..." I whispered looking down.

He went rigid in his seat. His eyes suddently tormented again.

Mr. Darcie suddently called on him for an answer to his question, It took a minute for Edward to consitrait on the question, witch was really unlike him. After answering the question, he turned to look at me. I got caught up in the intensity of his stare, becoming dangeroulsy close to losing it.

Just at that moment, the bell rang.

saved by the bell, how cliche.

I stood up quickly, watching him watch me from my perennails. I started to head for the door without saying goodbye. Just as I was about to walk through the door he stood up quickly.

"...Wait.. please." he called.

I walked down the hall a little too quickly, aware he was not far behind. I could smell him getting closer now, even though we where outside.

Before he could say anything, I turned to face him, keeping my face emtionless. We stood ten feet away from each other, looking into each others eyes. He didn't have to speak, his eyes said everything. His eyes, they where so brooding, so longing. It sceared me a little, How was I supposted to take down someone that looked at me in such a way.

I saw two figures dancing in our direction, I didn't think much of it until one of them ran up to Edward and kissed him on the check. He flinched at the contacted, but didn't shy away from it. Jelously raged through me as I looked at the beautiful faced female. She had black hair and beautiful eyes, I wanted to rip her throut out. The other figur standing next to her was even smaller, Alice.

It took everything I had to leave her simply alive. One of his _distractions, _I was sure.

FINE. She would go down with him aswell...

I couldn't hide the anger that swept across my face, Edward quickly noticed and held both hands up, taking a step back from the beauty.

The blacked haired vampire looked utterly confused.

"Bella?" Aliced gasped.


	6. so hostile

**Writer's note:**

Sorry for the late update, Ive had classes. Forgive me? lol

Thank you for all the wonderful reviews.

keep reading :

Chapter 6

My plan was falling through, I didn't want to be confronted this way. I wanted more time to reminded Edward of what pain he caused me. I let my face go back into the serene mack. Alice took a long look at Edward, whose eyes never left mine. This wasn't going to be the final confrantation, there where to many people here to let this get out of hand. Alice stepped forward, The blacked haired vampire grabbing her hand to pull her back quickly.

"Bella?" Alice whispered again

Pulling back her hand, she said "It's okay Tori, really." giving her a quick nod.

_Tori_, The monster inside me growled at the word. His distraction, The Vampire that was far more interesting than me. She had everything now, or everything that I wanted in the past. I could not deny that I felt jealousy. I could not deny that I still had feelings for him, But hate now over ruled both of those feelings. I heard something behind me but could not take my eyes off of Edward. Edward unwillingly shifted his focas off of me and laid his eyes on something behind me, Alice took a cautious step back.

"Iz?" I herd a familiar voice.

I turned unwillingly to see Tristen walking to my side, placing his hand onto my shoulder.

"Tristen." I acknowledged him.

I felt the slightest bit releaved knowing there wouldn't be a fight, I didn't want Tristen to fight along side me. But he was now involved in this, Alice, Edward and _Tori_, I snarled at the name, had seen his face. Edward's face was no longer confused, but furious, His eyes analyzing our embrace. I felt a little smug, while his mind wondered. Im sure from our embrace, he would think Tristen was my mate. Let him think whatever, Whatever hurts him more, That fine by me.

Tristen bowed his head to the Cullens, _and the other vile creature..._ before turning to me,"Come Isabell, we have alot to discuss." I watched as Edward's eyes became frantic, His face Longing again, and his lips parting as if he was going to speak.

Tristen and I turned to walk to the car. He Walked me to the passinger side and opened the door for me to get in. Soon he was sliding into the Drivers seat, and we where speeding off leaving the Cullens still standing, watching in amazement.

"Isabell, Do you mind telling me what the hell you are doing, and why you are dressed so ridiculous?" tristen demanded.

I didn't really want to answer him, I had a lot of stuff to consider, and think about. I wished so bad I could just disapear and not have to put up with his worries. I could feel his eyes on my face, waiting for my answer.

"I've told you, Edward has it coming... This is just all part of the plan." I said before turning to scold at him. "And I though I told you not to get involved."

"You can't honestly tell me, you thought I would step aside and let you distory yourself." He looked at me gravely.

"No, but I hoped you would at least respect my wishes. Witch your clearly didn't do." I said Returning his intense stare.

He let out a sigh and turned to stare out the windshield. I should have never told him, what was I thinking? He wouldn't let me go off and do this on my own. He was too much like a farther figur, so protective. I was lucky to have him, there was no doubt about that.

We where truning into the driveway now, both of us deep in thought. I was planning to go to the Cullens house, to see what they where thinking from our little meeting today, That would determine what my next step was. I looked at Tristen as we got out of the car, should I keep being honest with him or hide this from him? I had to make a quick decision.

I could be truthfull... just leave out a few things, so he doesnt worry himself to death.

"Im going out for a little bit, okay." I said, hoping my uneasy voice wouldn't give me away. I was still a terrible liar...

"Am I going to have to get you out of trouble this time, too?" He ask suspiously.

"No, promise." I smiled, I wouldn't be getting into any trouble, because no one will be seeing me.

Into the deep brushes of the woods, where no body could see me, I turned invisable.

Running for Cullens house, beating back my emotions. I had to stick to my guns.

I headed for the Cullens house, still angry at the throught of my plan falling threw. This little detail wouldn't stop me for my quest for revenge, I will have it. Just a little more planning needs to be involved. The house was now coming into veiw, rage taunted the monster inside me as I saw _Tori _on the porch.

I carefully went around her, trying to aviod the sudden urge to rip her throut out and burn her alive. I could hear Alice and Edward speaking loudly now. Curiosity got the best of me, I was dieing to know what they thought of the sudden return of Miss Isabell Swan.

"Did you see her?!" Edward yelled. "That was bella, I know it was." His fish came down on the table.

I cut of my breathing, not making a sound.

"Im not saying it wasn't Edward, Im just saying that maybe she isn't the same Bella you used to know..." Alice voice was a whisper.

"Did you see the way she looked at us. She was so hostile..." Alice continued.

"She has every right to be, Alice." Edwards said.

I almost hearled at his words.. What did he know? NUTHING.

Tori walked into the room, "What are we talking about?" She asked looking unintersted.

"Bella." Alice whisper, bearly meeting her eyes.

"Ohh.." She said disgustingly.

I was glad Jasper wasn't present, I was on the verg of being losing my control, becoming a total savage. How dare she smear my name like that? This creature would deffantly be put on my to do list. I looked at Alices pretty face, I didn't know if I would have the nerve to kill her. She looked so sweet and fragile...

"I have to go find her..." Edward said suddently.

This caught me off gaurd.

"NO." Tori wailed.

"You can't, Did you see the guy she was with Edward... He looked so protective over her. I wouldn't doubt it if he tried to fight you or even speaking to her." Alice tried to talk him out of it.

"Well I cant just wait here." He said while walking out the door, I followed him immdiantly.


	7. get over it

**Writer's note:** Things are so chaotic right now, I would love to writing all day, but there just isn't enought time! lol

Thank you for all the reviews.

hopfully I'll have another up quickly. I've noticed, after reading over some of the old Chapters, I've made quiet a few typos. Im so sorry about that, I'll do my best to start catching them.

**Chapter 7**

I didn't like the way I followed Edward, It reminded my of a lost puppy. I was walking through the door, Edward a couple paces infront of me when I heard _Tori_ smear my name again...

"I don't know why Edward is still attached to that _Bella_ girl...its been decads ago, he needs to get over it already!" she said, with a hateful edge to her voice.

I stoped dead in my tracks, turning to glare at this vile... disgusting creature. I wanted to yell at her, call her every name I could think of. She knew absolutely nothing of me, how dare she talk about me in that disgusting tone. Why did the Cullens even put up with her? Even Alice, Who was so bubbly, looked annoyed by her. I looked at Alice again, Who was glareing at Tori.

Alice suddently sucked in a deep breath, letting out a gust of words "**Oh get over it already**! You know nothing of the past of this family. Get over your little diluted fantisies of Edward, He has _never_ wanted you, and he _never_ will... Stop making a fool of yourself, Tori." Alice almost yelled.

I snaped my teeth shut before I could laugh, I've never seen Alice be so rude or cruel. I _loved_ it. I wanted to applued her, and laugh in the face of Tori. Alice smirked and turned to walk out of the room. I turned to look at Tori, who's mouth hung open, stunned. For a second, I forgot Edward on his was to find me. I ran through the door, trying to pick up his scent. I followed his scent into town. Getting annoyed when I started running in circles. I picked up a fresh trail right outside of town, on the back roads. Horror stuck me when I realized he was headed to my house.

_**Please, no**_

I didn't want to think of the imagies that flooded my head, Edward in fighting position, defending himself again Tristen, who was alway trying to protect me. I ran faster...

Becoming frantic when I realized the door was still open. My mind didn't slow down when I entered the house. The silence sceared me even more, What have I done? The suddent Worries hit me with a sharp pain, did I cause tristen to get hurt? Why was I so nieve to think he wouldn't get hurt in my agenda for revenge. I came into the hall, releaf spreading through me when I saw Edward standing alone. He was analyzing everything. Where was Tristen? I looked out the window that viewed straight into the garage, His car was gone. I wanted to sigh in releaf, but I was afriad he would hear me...

I watched him carefully wondering what he was looking for, His fingurs grazed everything. His face was sad, but peaceful somehow. It was so easy to get mezmerized by his face, his eyes where like getting lost in an ocean of liquid topez. When I was away from him, I saw everything so clearly... But whenever I was near him, it was so easy for my thoughts to get tangled. I had to keep reminding myself of Charlie, Just to keep my mind focused on the goal. Ever sence Laurnet changed me, Edward has been casting shadows onto my new life. I need to break free from this crippling anger. I need to start living, and stop regreting...This was the only way I could see how...

His fingers traced over my desk, studying everything carefully. My eyes where on his face, I was bearly paying attention to what his hands where doing. His lips curved into a faint smile. Couriosity got the best of me, I took my eyes off his face to look down at what he held in his hands. Suddently regreting not putting the book back where it belongs, He held an old torn copy of weathuring Heights.

He quoted in a whisper, "_If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger_."

The pain hit me like gunshots. I remembered quoteing that to him once, telling him I knew who I couldn't live without. A memory that was so dim, I could bearly remeber the details. He set the book down, then turned to look straight at me. For a second, I thought he could really see me, down to my soul. My stomich twisted in butterflys...

the dropped, realizing he was looking through me...

I stepped aside, letting me pass me. Not letting myself realize the disapointment I was feeling. I followed him a little to eagerlly into the woods. It was hard to keep up with him while he was running, he was so fast... I never noticed before. My eyes nerrowed as I realized where he was going. The place I never wanted to go. The place where everything changed...

_our meadow_.

I stopped abrupty, Not sure if I could follow him anymore. That place knew everything, It knew too much, It's seen too much...

_Suck it up Bella,_ I told myself.

I took a few deep breaths, Taking one step at a time. I stoped a few feet from the edge of the woods. Letting my emotions hide under a serene mask.

He was standing in the middle of the meadow, looking at the sky. His face was sad enought to break anyones heart, _even mine._

I visibly stepped out from the edge of the woods, unsure how long I could hide my emotions...

His face lit up as our eyes meet, and I couldn't help but let myself melt under his stare.

He was _finally_ seeing the real me, topez eyes and all...


	8. sorry

OKAY everyone.

I've decided I am going to update this story! I know its been a WHILEE. I just lost interest, but after seeing the new twilight movie over and over and over again, I have a new found inspiration. hha.

Im currently re-reading all the other chapters [ so I don't forget anything ! ]

Just wanted to let everyone know !

Thank you for all your support and wonderfull reviews, Im sorry I've kept you waiting so long!


	9. I know you need your space

**Writer's note: **

First of all, I'd like to say im soo sorry for not updating sooner.

Forgive me? lol

This chapter is a little darker than the other ones.

Bellas haven major mood swings in the fiction and, this is her hostile side.

I also have no beta, so any typo's are all mine, and im sorry lol. tell me what you think ;]

**Chapter eight**

It was so much easier to hate him when I wasn't looking him in the eye. I took a few more cautious steps, Turning to circle the meadow. It wasn't hard to re-live everything that happened here... Good memories... and bad. Truth be told, It only fueled my veneance more. I turned my head to peek up at Edward as I slowly circled him. Pain wasn't forgein to us. I was nieve to think I could do this without involving my emotions... and his emotions were clear on his face. He looked as if he was trying to decide what he was going to say. Couriosity got the best of me, What on earth could he have to say that would even penetrate this hate?

Nothing.

He stole my youth.

and he would pay no matter what words came out of his mouth.

I turned straight to him, crossing my arms, waiting...

The silence was tearing me apart, He was still a mistery to me. Im tired of running in circles playing these silly little games. It would hurt him more to mess with his head but, but pachients are wearing thin, I want answers...

His lips parted, Looks like his finially done chocking on his words. I smirked. My anger made me feel more cocky and empty than ever.

"Who's the guy?" He asked suddently, looking a little uneasy.

This cought me by suprise, my anger raged as I felt the need to protect Tristen.

"Does it matter, He's no business of yours." I snapped.

"I can smell him all over you..." He whispered. suspition colored his features.

I bit down on my lip, it was so hard not to laugh at his jelousy. I took one step closer to him, His eyes lingered of my face before looking at my feet.

Before I could stop myself I said, "He's my family. Leave him out of this." I growled.

This place, a constant reminder of my misfortions, seemed to make me for edgy than normal. My hands started to shack as dim memories of my last human breath flooded my mind.

Edward seemed to pick up on my hostility, He took a slow step backwards.

"Why have you returned?" I said a bit more clamly.

"This has always been home for my family, It was time to return..." He said solfty.

_Oh. Wonderful._

"Who?" He said suddently.

I knew what he wanted to know... He wanted to know who was the creature that turned me...

"Laurent finished what you started." I said harshly.

I heard a growl erupt from his chest.

"Does that disappoint you?" I asked couriously. "You might have broke me, but he gave me death. Although, You where the one that introduced me to this world..." I raised me hands hands in the air. "Maybe you should take credit...." I gleared at him, letting my hands drop.

I nearly started to laugh when shock and hurt covered his beautiful face.

He stood silent.

I jerked my head to the right, someone was coming. paranoia swept over me. Edwards head inclined in the direction of the sound, then looked back at me with desperate eyes. I was about to be out numbered. I took one step back.

Edward looked down at my feet, then his gaze flickered to my eyes.

"Please don't go." He begged.

I glanced to the right again, It was getting closer. No doubt it was another cullen. I looked back at Edward and slowly shook my head. I let my foot take another step back.

"Bella please..." he said then stepped forward to reach for my hand.

I couldn't take anymore... I dispeared.

He gasped and looked around as if I suddently would appear anywhere else. Little did he know, I was still right in front of him. looking at him.

wanting him... I pushed back that thought and banished it quickly.

_Charlie._

Alice appeared out of the edge of the woods. Edward seems reluctent to talk to her. Walking over slowly, her eyes followed Edwards. Searching the area.

"Are you okay?" She eyed him wearily. " I thought you might want someone to talk to..." She continued.

"No..." Was all he said before taking a breif look around the medow then melting into the woods.

It was just me and Alice, Not that Alice could tell I was there. I was still in the same spot, taking in everything that has happened. Alice danced to the middle of the meadow and looked at the sky. My emotions where where all over the place, and at that moment I was starting to get depressed all over again. I felt saddness, anger, longing, depression. I should be angry with myself, for not being at able to keep my rage aimed torge _him._ But the way he looked at me and pledded with me, made me feel otherwise.

I wanted to cry.

but I cant.

It was so fustrating having all these mixed feeling and not having anyway to release.

Alice dropped her head and looked straight at me, I went rigid. She cant see me.... can she?

She turned to walk back to the edge of the woods but before she reached them, she turned her head slightly back to me.

"Oh Bella." She called.

She was now looking at me again "I haven't said anything about your little stalking adventures, because I know you need your space now more than ever, I know you are going through alot right now." She smiled at me.

I was so shocked, I lost control over my powers and reapeared.

Her smile grew more pronounced. "But try to remember, Edwards going through alot too."

And then she was gone, with me left, standing there with my jaw hanging open


	10. let the darkness fall away

Writer's note:

I have finally gotten back on track!

THANK YOU, Emberseve.

and everyone else who gave me suggestions!

any typos are mine, and im sorry. The next chapter will be longer, I just kinda had to get this out.

I do not own Twilight, or New Moon.

Chapter 9

_______________________________________________________

Never in my exsistence have I ever felt completely infurriated at myself. Of course Alice could see me, I was so nieve to believe otherwise. Jasper could feel my emotions, The first day they came back... He felt all the pain that I felt that day. I

wanted to hit something so bad, I presummed that I would be invisiable to Alice's vision aswell...

_yea right._

_Just as invisable to Jaspers emotional meter _... I thought saracasticly.

The run home had been a blur, after hours of laying on my bed, sorting everything out before I realized this; Such a **simple** consept. All of this _stuff_ with Edward was really getting to me, exspecaily for me to not catch something as simple as this. What if Alice Told him about me watching them? that would make me look weak. I promised myself I would bring him down, and the Cullens if they stood with him, The only problem is Alice will know my every move...

"Im screwed." I sighed.

I was so sure my shield and invisiblity would be enough to catch them so off gaurd that I would be able eliminate them all... If I even have the gutts for that anymore... I sighed again, letting my hands fall and hit my face. Why can't I forget these silly human emotions. Maybe then I wouldn't be having second thoughts about killing every single one of the Cullens...

_ughhh._

"Hypocrite." I mummured to myself. Silly human emotions are they reason im getting my revenge in the first place.

I loved him. He left me. I cant get over it. God, it sounds like some depressing country song. And now, Im sitting here talking to myself...

"Im pathedic." I sighed again,

_get it together Bella, Charlie. Remember Charlie, your father, that was stolen away from you. Pull yourself together!_

"You may be a little disturbed... But you where never Pathedic." Tristens voice rang from the door that was creeping open.

I shot up to look at him, He had a smile on his face. "Are you easedropping?" I asked with a small smile.

He walked over, and sat down beside me on the bed, "I think that only counts when your talking to someone other than yourself..." He laughed.

I smiled and looked down, My torso was starting to hurt again... You would think after you experiance death... or something like it, that these things wouldn't phase you anymore, but it still hurts... just as clearly as the day he left. My face crumpled as I looked up into Tristens eyes.

"What am I going to do..." I whispered, letting my eyes fall again. Ashamed of how weak I looked in his eyes.

Tristen placed a fingur under my chin, making me look at his face again.

"Is, I know you miss your father...I know you regret the way you left things with him and-"

I cut him off, "...I was lifeless, He tried, day after day to make me happy, to pull me out of my daze... But day after day, I said nothing, did nothing...I was lost to the world. I let _him_ comsume everything I was..." I grabed my torso, trying to hold myself together. I bit my lip, not letting the sob excape my lips.

I looked up Tristen, He was the bigger brother I never had. Looking weak Infront of him was never a problem, I trusted him completely, But it was still something I was ashamed of; letting _him_ getting the best of me.

Tristen looked at me with nonjudging eyes,"Every single one of us got into a siduation that was unfair. Thats why we are the way we are... we where the unlucky. but that doesn't have to be your life anymore..you can choise to rise above, and try to make this life better. Let the darkness fall away, let the anger you feel go, it will only distroy you and everyone close to you. Please dont turn away from the people that love you..." His eyes burned into mine. For some reason I know he wasn't just talking about himself.

"I can't forgive him." was all I could manage to say.

"I know you can't see this now, But decedes have passed, and you are still as much inlove with him as he is to you. If you keep Doing this, You will only sucessed in hurting youself more..." He took a deep breath, and I let my eyes fall to the floor.

"Promise me-" He made me look at him again "- that you will think about what im telling you... at least keep your distance for a couple of days and just think about things...think about what your doing."

I nodded weakly, trying desperatly not to fall apart infront of him

"Thank you." He smiled before kissed my fourhead. "I can't lose you." he murmured into my hair before walking out my door.

I let myself fall backwards on the bed, letting out tearless sobs.


	11. We're all lost

Note :

It's been forever sence I updated this story. All this Twilight/New Moon madness has really put me out :[

I just got tired of it all & needed a brake, no offense.

Anyways, I thought I'd take another stab at it.

all mistakes are mine :] please don't be too harsh.

OH! by the way, when im writing Tori.. I always imagine Megan Fox.. just because she really beautiful & I don't like her that much LOL

Also, just for kicks.. Im making this story a little more .. adult.. lol So be aware.

________________________

*Okay, This is a week or so later.. Tristen has dragged Bella out of town .. unwillingly. To get her away from the Cullens after to little melt-down in the last chapter.. He's tring to talk some sence into her*

*again, I must remind you about Bella's mood swings.*

Chapter 10

I could have easly ran away from this hotel room. Turned invisiable while Tristen was in the bathroom.. easy as that. I sat on the bed, listen to the water running, as Tristen was taking a shower. But the truth is, I need this. I needed to get away from it all and take a look at the mess I have created. I still love him, Of that I was sure. But I also had a hate for him that burned just as passionalty. I highly doutb I would ever be able to forgive him.. and doutbed even more that I could be able to kill him.

I fell back on the bed, sighing deeply. I got up and went to the bathroom door. I tapped lighty and waited for a reply.

"yes?" Tristen called from behind the door.

Please.. dont give me any greif, I preyed quickly ".. Im gonna go out for a little walk, no trouble.. I promise. I'll be back in a few."

"Im holding you to that." I heard him call, as I walked out the door.

___________________

The night sky was beautiful. It's been decades sence I had really taken the time to look up and appreciate it's beauty. I blocked out the people walking through the park. No one paid attention to me, to them, I was just some lost kid sitting on a park bench. I hadn't forgetten what it was like to be human, Infact, I was feeling more and more human each day. Consumed by my thoughts, I didn't even notice a girl sitting beside me.

"Do want one?" She asked, Thrusting her pack of cigarettes to me.

I grabbed one, glancing at her face. She was very pretty. Her bleach blonde hair hung around her face. She wasn't what I was exspecting to see in the middle of a park. She looked around with a worried look on her face

"Are you lost?" I asked

Her head turned, a small smirk playing on her lips. ".. we're all lost."

"In our own way." She added quietly.

We sat in silence, watching people walk past us...the cigarette still laying in my hand. She lit hers up, then turned to me..

"This is kinda like life, you know?" gestering to the cigarette, whirling it around in her hand.

"We all burn out eventually." She said looking at it intensely.

I wish I could burn out..

"Nothing is forever.." She turned to look at me. "Love, Hate, life.. We all die.. The world will come to an end. We all meet our fate. So why fight it, yah know?" She flicked her lighter open.

I put the cigarette to my lip and leaned into the lighter. Smoke filled my lungs.

"Some doctors call it an aferdiasin of life." She said nonchuantly. "But thats not why I smoke, We all die someday.. So why fight what you really want.."

I still believed I had a soul, Thats why I fed off animals..I don't want to be a murder. I still hope to go to heaven.. when ever I finally 'burn out'. I idly watched as the cigarette slowly turned to ashes. I eye'd the girl out of the corner of my eye, she was watching the sky.. She was odd..

"are you okay?" She asked randomly. I looked at her suprised.

I looked back at the ashes, and pondered what to say.. _Am I okay?_ .....no. Ive lived nearly a hundred years.. not feeling anything. like a statue. The only thing thats ever made me feel.. is Charlie.. Tristen.. and Edward.. and all those thing came from love. I've felt hate and pain, but only because I've loved unconditionly.

"Im dead." I said bluntly.

..Im dead. I felt so much hate and pain for years that I've died, emotionaly. I shut out all the good emotions and vocused on the bad. letting myself die. I've lost myself.

"That's tragic." she whisperd.


	12. bitch

Chapter 11

"Im ready to go back" I said blunty.

"Is, You know I can't let you do this to yourself." Tristen droped his eyes to his feet.

I walked to him, cupping his face in my hands. his eyes difted slowly to my face. He didn't say anything, He just stared into my eyes.

"I can't do this anymore." My voice broke, pain ripping at my torso.

"Im dead." I said simply.

Tristen took my hands from his face and held them in his own. His fourhead wrinkled.. waiting for me to explain.

"I've lived for so long... only feeling hate. and pain." My eyes never leaving his. He squeezed my hand.. letting me know, it was okay.

"I've let the lose of _him _and Charlie.. take control of me." I closed my eyes. "To the point where .. who I am.. Isn't who I am anymore..I've lost myself.. I've died."

He release my hands immidiantly, wrapping his arms around me. I held on my dear life.

"Im a monster." I whispered.

"No.." Tristen whispered. "Your just lost.."

"I don't know who I am anymore." I pulled back looking at him. He brushed a trand of hair behind my ear "I don't know how everything got so screwed up.." I sighed.

"You let your misfortunes run your life. You let that pain take control. I think its time you talk to him. No games. " He said, and I knew he was right.

"Forgivness is a powerful thing, it might just lead you back to who you where." He let go of me, then whispered. "Lets go home."

Giving me a kiss on the fourhead before turning around to pack.

_______________________

I took a deep breath. No backing out now.. Alice has probably already seem me coming. I knocked lightly on the door. I twitched uneasy at the conversation I knew that was about to happen.

My nerviousness quickly faded into anger as Tori answered the door, She took one look at me and scanned the yard.

"What do you want?" She snarled.

"To talk to someone that's acually a Cullen." I snapped. She really irratated me.

"Bella" I heard Alice say as she walked in from behind Tori. I shoved pass Tori and went straight to Alice.

"He's in his room." She whispered, giving me a wink.

I looked at the stair case, hesitating. Alice gave me a little push.. encouraging me to go. I creeped up the stairs lightly. Half way up, I turned to look at Alice.. Only to see her glaring at Tori.. who was glaring at me.. I had the sudden urge to flip her off..but quickly banished that and seddled with an 'screw you' smile.

bitch.

________________

The door was cracked, a dim light coming from the room. I pushed it open slowly.. I froze. Somehow this felt more real when I was face to face with him. He was reading Wurthing Heights. So wrapped up in the books, he didn't even notice me standing there, watching him. I Thanked god for this, I was so overwelmed that I wasn't even sure what I was gonna say. Did I want an explanation? Or did I just come to tell him that im done.. with all of it? with all the pain.. and the games?

"Why did you do it?" I didn't even realize what I had said until he was looking up at me.

"Bella?" he asked breathless.. he stood up quickly.. rushing to me.

I held my hands up, warning him to keep his distance. "Just answer the question please." I said quietly.

He hung his head.. hesitating.. but slowly looked back up and he whipered "For you.."

I wanted to scream..just more lies..

I clinched my fist.. _just stay calm Bella. You can do this._

"But I guess, It was a worthless effort. You still lost everything because of me.." He looked into my eyes. "For what its worth, I truely am sorry."

_Stay calm.. please god help me stay calm.. _I took a deep breath.. I came here for answers, not to fight.

"You left me for her.. _Tori_? Was she the distraction you where talking about?" I asked

He looked truely startled. "No, She has only been with us for about six months."

I released a sigh, _they're not together_.. I felt as if a weight lifted off my shoulders.. and mentaly kicked myself for feeling that way.

"...I did it because I wanted you to live a normal life.." He trailed off.

I quickly added "I just came here for the truth, Please don't try to spare my feeling... I just want to know the real reason.." I trailed off when I realized he was now about an inch away from me.

He slowly grabbed my hand and held it in his.

"I wanted you to have a normal life.. I wanted to you get married" His voice broke. "Have kids.. grow old.." I looked into his eyes.

I was willing my heart not to brake at his words.

"I wanted you to have everything you couldn't have with me." He took a deep breath. "But like I said, It was a wasted efford." He anaylised my face.

"you lied?" I probably sounded like a five year old with broken heart.

"yes." He whispered back.

I pulled my hand out of his, I need to get out of here. I looked around and it seemed as if the room was closing in on me.

"..I have to go" My voice was shakey, as I started to back away.

He didn't protest, he just looked at the floor. "I am sorry."

All I could do was nood.

I turned to open the door, thinking about everything he said. Only to because face to face with Tori. That's when I lost it. With all the information I just learned and Everything single emotion that had been plagueing me latley.. I snapped

"What the hell do you think your doing?" I yelled.

She looked passed me at Edward.

"AFTER ALL I"VE DONE FOR YOU, YOU STILL WANT HER?! AFTER ALL I WENT THROUGH! LOOK WHAT SHE'S DONE TO YOU! TO THIS FAMILY!'" She yelled, as she shoved me.. trying to walk to Edward.

He gave her a strange look, like he was trying to understand what she was talking about.

A growl errupted from my chest.

My hand gripped her throut as I slammed her against the wall.

My teeth ached to tear her throut out. She clawed at my hands, trying to brake free... and all I could do was smile.

That's when something hard hit me from behind...

I went crashing to the floor, As Edward layed on top of me.

"Get off me!" I screamed as he pinned me down.

I saw Tori on the floor glareing at me, rubbing her neck.

A few minuates went by, and Edward let me up.. standing bewteen me and Tori.

I knew everyone in the house was listening quietly, If I wasn't so angery.. maybe I would have been embarrased. I felt the sudden urge to get out of this house..

I need to get away from this bitch and think over everything he had said.

I have Edward a look and walked passed him, staring down Tori.. Until I was close enough to whisper

"Watch your back" with a develish smile.

Someone was way off with her, And I intended to find out why.


End file.
